


Always

by TheRedLotusFlower88



Series: The Sweeter Things In Life [12]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alpha Kaneki, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Omega Hide, Sad Hide, Worried Kaneki, bad habits, mentions of drug abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2019-03-14 08:59:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13586721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRedLotusFlower88/pseuds/TheRedLotusFlower88
Summary: "Hide," Kaneki whispered, looking around the room with wide eyes before landing them on his mate. Said mate bit his lip nervously, anxious going through him in waves. "Did..? Did you spend your time looking for me?"Of course he did. He just never realize how far Hide went just to see him again.





	Always

With everything settled, it was time to start packing into their new apartment. Hide, of course, had been hesitated, since he knew what lay in his.

Newspaper articles, photos of certain people that may or may not be ghouls, pill bottles that he's been abusing for god knows how many times in a month - not including the pills he was suppose to take to slay off his heat....

Yeah, if Kaneki saw his apartment, the half-ghoul would be worried to death about him. But, Hide knew it was time to face the music - he can't keep his lifestyle when Kaneki had been away hidden forever, and truthfully, he never wanted to hide it. It just....sorta happened.

"I'm gonna warn ya now, this apartment hasn't been clean since forever." Hide said, looking back at his mate. Kaneki rolled his eyes, thinking Hide was probably exaggerating, when, in truth, he wasn't. With a sharp intake, he open the door. Inside the apartment was dark, of course, and Hide flip the switch just as Kaneki looked around.

Everything _seemed_ to be in order from what the ghoul can make out, but apparently, something was wrong as his inner Alpha muttered and grumbled. Again, he started to look around when he noticed a newspaper article laying about, its title clear even from where Kaneki stood.

_**NEW GHOUL ATTACK** _

Just below it was a picture that looked blurry, but even so, Kaneki could see his form quite clearly, and parts of him started to freeze.

Of course, Hide paid no attention to that, already going into another room with a box in hand.

"Your stuff's in here," He called out, and Kaneki wanted to move to him, but he was still enraptured with the article. Yes, he knows he's been making quite a name for himself, so it shouldn't be surprising that Hide - who always had interest in ghouls, for some reason - found one, yet he couldn't help but wonder...

_Did Hide know that was him in the photo?_

He had to, right? Why else would he take that article? And Hide himself had said he's been looking for him since he'd disappeared, why would this surprise him? _No, not surprise, disturbed._ He thought, picking up the news article, still looking at the photo.

"Neki?" Hide popped up, wondering where his mate had gone, before realizing he had found the article. Biting his lip, the blond moved closer to him. "I was able to find that during my time with the CCG. Lucky, huh?"

Kaneki looked over at him, taking in the guilt on Hide's face, as well as his Omega sending off submission waves.

"Hide?"

"I know I told you I was trying to find you," Hide started, balling his fist. "But I don't think you realize just how deep I went trying to. Please don't be too upset with me, Neki." He ended up whimpering, and Kaneki felt his heart broke. Moving closer to the human, Kaneki wrapped his hand around Hide's fist, using his thumb to smooth over his knuckles in a comforting manner.

"I can't promise you that, Hide. I just need to know you were safe the whole time." Kaneki said, and Hide had to smile at that.

"At least you're honest," He chuckled, before frowning. "Truthfully, no. I...I wasn't." At that, Kaneki tensed just as Hide started to pull him to another room. "I want to show you..."

Kaneki went without protest, and they came across another room, his bedroom.

"I didn't get much sleep, you know? I spent nights after nights looking for you. I...I was prescribed with some medications." At that, Kaneki narrowed his eyes at the human. "I...I might've abused it a little."

"..." Kaneki honestly didn't know what to say to that. His mouth was moving, but no words were coming out. Seeing this, Hide waved him off.

"I'm fine now, Neki. Though it took me a bit to actually become 'fine'," Hide said, squeezing his hand. "And in any case, let's not put it off any longer, yeah? Let's go into my bedroom!" In another context, Kaneki would've blushed. Instead, he watched as Hide open the door and...he tried to not show the shock he's currently feeling.

Tons and tons of newspapers, photos, and index cards litter the room. Most of them were pictures of Kaneki, but there were selective few that had others - some he could recognize (Touka and the others from Anteiku), others he didn't. There were also pictures of the CCG - specifically, Amon and that blonde woman (Akira???) - and then there was Rize and...

Kaneki felt his heart stopped.

Yamori.

Hide had told him of his run-in, he _knew_ it, yet it didn't stop the fear that crawled into his heart when he saw the photo. The fact that Hide had been so close to his tormentor to be able to take it, for him to listen to his conversation without being caught and knowing what would've happened if he _did...._

Everything that Kaneki had feared when it came to Hide had came back to him, and he desperately wanted to wrap himself around the human and spirited him away. Hide hadn't been kidding; some of these people in the photos, the ones that looked and were confirmed to be ghouls, looked way, _way_ out of Hide's league, and they could've killed him easily if they wanted to, if they had known. He looked down at the floor, anger starting to seep into his mind, when he noticed the empty pill bottles and what looked to be shards of glass.

"Hide," He choked, whirling around to face the Omega. "You didn't take any illegal drugs did you?"

"What? No! Just the pills," Hide said, frowning hard at the ghoul.

"Then the shards of glass...?"

Hide looked down at where Kaneki had looked, and his eyes went wide with realization.

"Oh, I had accidentally dropped a glass of water when I was...working, I guess you'd call it that." He said with impish grin on his face. Kaneki could only stare at him.

"Wait, you said you couldn't sleep some nights?" It was more of a demand than a question. Hide shrugged his shoulders, nervous. "Did...did you stay up all night searching me?"

"Went out, met some ghouls....yeah...." Hide said, and Kaneki exploded.

"Hide, that is very dangerous and very stupid of you to do! What was the medication you were taking?!" Kaneki squeaked, picking up the bottle that read _antidepressants._ The ghoul nearly recoiled at the description. "You...you were on antidepressants, abused it, and then decided it was okay for you to be walking out in Tokyo alone? Meeting up with some ghouls?"

"Not to mention my heat suppressors....I guess that doesn't help any, huh?" Hide carelessly mentioned, but Kaneki was speechless. How can this boy be so carless about his own life? The anger Kaneki  felt was starting to rise, but he tried to remain calm.

Keyword: Tried.

"If something had happened to you during one of those nights, I'd never forgive myself," Kaneki said, and then narrowed his eyes at Hide. "Or you, for that matter. You're more responsible than this!"

"I was lonely, okay?!" Hide snapped, startling Kaneki. "You weren't there....I missed you, but you were gone. And...you were so happy with them, I didn't...I didn't want to intrude. But...I had always wanted you, Neki. I wanted you as my mate, so when you'd left I...." He choked, tears falling down his face. "There was a part of me that was missing, and I didn't know if....if I was the one you wanted. In the back of my mind, I had been worried that I wasn't your Omega..." He sniffled. "I was sad for a long time, Neki. I didn't give up hope, but I was sad."

Kaneki felt his heart twist, his inner Alpha begging him to comfort his crying mate, and so he did.

Reaching for his arm, he pulled the crying Omega into him and hugged him tight.

"I'm sorry," He whispered. "I'm sorry I made you sad. Sorry I made you believe I didn't want you. I'm sorry."

It was all he could say, and he hated himself for it, even when Hide slowly stopped crying.

"I love you," Hide hiccupped. "I will always love you, Neki. Even if it hadn't been me."

Kaneki squeezed him tight.

"I love you too, even if I don't deserve it." Kaneki said.

And the two stood there, in dead center of the mess Kaneki had created, in the world that Hide had built, hugging each other, Kaneki in guilt, and Hide still looking so very, very sad. The Alpha could only comfort him for so long, until his tears slowed to a crawl, and there was complete silence.  


End file.
